你先点头说:“嗯。”Then you check your watch. You survey the room, searching for escape, but there's no hope. Your eyes glaze over. "Uh-huh." Being trapped by an incessant talker isn't an unusual problem, and if you find it happening to you pretty regularly, you can help! It's going to take courage, honesty and kindness on your part, but all those who have been cornered by one-way conversationalists will salute you.
每当有人犯违反礼仪,这是尴尬的干预。人们不想听到他们粗心,粗鲁或者无聊。但是如果你冒险,语言一样的听众中获益。饶舌的人不欣赏,所以控制习惯增加他们的社会可接受性。虽然有些无情的演说家真的相信他们迷人的,没有注意到相反的迹象,有些紧张,孤独或渴望验证[来源:纽曼]。他们的反应,因为可以可怕的沉默。在某些情况下,患者医疗条件如注意力缺陷障碍(ADD)很难控制他们的冲动说话[来源:Kroplick]。不管原因,听众往往变得沮丧和不满时被人话太多了。
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介入说话时是一个陌生人并不是一个好主意。没有一个持续的关系,这是不礼貌的提供这种不请自来的批评。你不是一个人质;你总是可以原谅自己,走开。18新利最新登入然而,如果你有一个熟人,朋友或同事谁会受益于这些信息,有私人的干预。18luck手机登录虽然你可能会感觉更好一些备份,你的目标会感觉集中。需要更有说服力吗?没有一个观众娱乐,说话可能会成为一个侦听器,您提高的机会被倾听和理解。
首先检查。寻求许可提供反馈等一行,“我可以告诉你一些我注意到吗?”Once the talker gives consent, make a clear statement about the behavior you've seen and offer a focused observation. Don't just throw out a blanket, "You talk too much." Be specific. For example, "During our recent book club discussion, you didn't allow me to give my point of view. When I tried, you talked over me," or, "We spent most of the meeting today hearing your point of view. Three people were trying to raise their concerns as well, but they didn't get a chance to do it." Keep control of the conversation and don't allow this to become a discussion; you're providing feedback. Avoid complaints, insults or sweeping generalizations. Comments like, "People hate it when you talk too much" or, "You never let anyone else speak" can trigger anger or defensiveness. That won't lead to the behavioral changes you want.
当然,如果你是一个人的老板,情况有些不同。设置阶段就是一个很好的例子,开始出现问题的情况:“我想和你谈谈我们今天在我们的会议的小组讨论。”Then, note the specific behavior that caused a problem: "When Mark tried to speak, you continued to talk over him for several minutes." Finally, describe how this behavior had a real impact on work: "Mark had important updates about the software we're using, which he needed to share — but because we ran out of time, he didn't get to."
然后,您可以推荐的。你想发生什么干预的结果吗?从来没有听到说话的另一个词吗?这是不会发生的,这不是你想要的。明确,你会更容易成功。试”,在会议期间,请不要说话每次超过一分钟”,或者“在讨论,你让一个点后,请让别人回应。”Now the talker knows your limits and has something to aim for. Talking too much is a习惯,所以你可能需要不止一次的过程。要有耐心和坚定,你就会得到回报——沉默。
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